…is what happens. Don’t pretend you weren’t warned. You mix all that together and what. What did you expect. A sports car? A rehabbed 2-bedroom loft with skyline views? Come on. Seriously.

But don’t panic. Deep breaths. Look within yourself, and then check the drawer by the sink. No, left of the sink. It’s got to be somewhere. Did the kids take it and leave it outside again?

Regardless, now you’ve got Tom Haley to contend with, and while there are poorly documented cases of triumph and stockpiling immunity and building resistance and generally, you know, targeting inherent weaknesses and slowly destroying him against all odds, chances are good this is going to be permanent.

Again, though: relax. You’ve seen the commercials. Plenty of people live relatively normal lives with Tom Haley. And while it’s probably time to speak with your family about What Comes Next, you don’t have to act like someone just vacuumed all the joy out of your life.

Why I like to work at Jellyvision

It’s pretty close to my house.

Also, every day is a wondrous surprise. Like one day you’re writing for this client, the next day you’re editing some media for another client, and then on Fridays at dusk you’re shooting rats in the parking lot.