HR Horoscopes

Bliss P. MacIntosh Fun Stuff

Aries

This month, it will feel like all eyes are on you. Don’t worry, you’re not being paranoid…you’re right. Don’t make any mistakes, or they will see.

Taurus

Be bold and take some risks this month. Try pyrotechnics or signing your emails with skull emojis.

Gemini

The moon is in your house of mystery this month, so be sure to start every conversation with: ‘Now listen here, see, answer my question or the little dog gets it.’ What you hear may surprise you.

Cancer

This month will be a powerful time to express your emotions: now’s the time to let your [REDACTED] standing desk know exactly how it has [REDACTED] your life.

Leo

Your use-whatever’s-left-in-the-office-kitchen-on-Friday-afternoon smoothie-making workshop will fail because a faulty blender. Yes, this is an omen.

Virgo

The stars aren’t totally clear on this, but something vaguely irritating might happen during your webinar or seminar or whatever. Maybe.

Libra

At your next SHRM chapter meeting, a stranger in a glowing hamster ball will ask you where the nearest grocery store is. Do not, under any circumstances, tell him.

Scorpio*

Be extra soft-spoken this month. The more you whisper, the sooner everyone else will also whisper, which means the office will finally be quiet, which means that Gary in Accounting will finally be able to take a dang nap.

*This horoscope has been sponsored by Gary in Accounting.

Sagittarius

The good news: your ‘Team Night Out” begins with drinks and laughter. The bad news: it ends with matching Benefitz4Life neck tattoos.

Capricorn

On the second Wednesday of the month, around 3:15 EST, you’ll deliver the second-most impressive handshake of your life.

Aquarius

You’ve been dying to wear that floor-length velvet cape to work. The stars would like to ask you–as your friends–to consider that maybe you’re not a ‘cape person.’

Pisces

Four words: don’t leave the house.


More things you might like include:

Your Employees Are Going to Laugh at You: Five Thoughts on Using Humor in Benefits Communication (eBook)
Damn Good Communication: A Fun, Personalized Weather Forecast (blog post)
6 Tips on Conducting an OE Post-Mortem That Gets Results (and Doesn’t End In Tears)