If you’re still not sure what to wear to your office Halloween party tonight, we thought we’d share a few benefits-themed costume ideas. You’re welcome.
#1. The Affordable Scare Act
Wear a werewolf mask. Cover yourself in 1,990 pieces of paper. Hand out Band-Aids and Vitamin C.
#2. The FSA
Go trick or treating in the costume of your choice. Then eat all your candy before midnight or risk losing it forever.
#3. Sexy EOB
Wear a tight-fitting white leather jumpsuit totally covered in date of service and coverage information.
#4. COBRA Insurance
One snake mask. One Brooks Brothers suit.
#5. The Biometric Scream
Wear a stethoscope, a blood pressure monitor, and a Scream mask.
#6. The Wellness Program
Dress in Spandex head to toe. Do jumping jacks whenever the conversation dies down.
#7. Roth IRA Glass
From the waist up, dress like NPR radio personality Ira Glass. From the waist down, David Lee Roth. Make a point to say “Act one” and shriek a lot.
#8. Qualifying Events
Dress up as a new bride or groom (marriage), carry around a diaper bag (new baby), roll your eyes when talking about your ‘ex’ (divorce) and walk around the party looking really disoriented (new hire).
#9. Unused Vacation Dave
Wear a dusty Hawaiian shirt and sigh a lot.
#10. Urgent Care Bear
Wear a colorful bear costume. Advise partygoers about their weird rashes.
#11. HSAlly and FSArah
Recruit a pal. Get matching superhero outfits and wigs. Make chestplates, one that says HSA, one FSA. If anyone confuses you for your twin, set them straight. Prepare to do this all night long.
Wear a black leather jacket and white t-shirt. Walk around with your thumbs out. Answer every question with: “HRAyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”
#13. The 401(k)-nine
Go as yourself. But dress up your dog like a piggy bank.