10 Benefits Your Company Would Offer If the Founding Fathers Ran Things

Jellyvision Just for Fun

In honor of Independence Day, we thought we’d share a list of benefits your company would offer with an HR department helmed by George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and their founding father pals. Here’s to a safe and happy Fourth of July!

1. Comprehensive Prescription Coverage (including—and limited to—shots of rum, spoonfuls of molasses, shots of whiskey, brisk walks in the cold, and shots of gin)
2. HDDI (High Deductible Duel Insurance) Plans
3. Discounted LinkedIn portrait rates from local painters
4. Tax savings account (for tea purchases only)
5. Half-price Hamilton tickets
6. Free in-network wooden teeth cleaning
7. Priority stagecoach parking
8. Access to a bucket of leeches for on-demand “humor balancing”
9. A Personal Scurvy Consultant
10. Wigless Wednesdays