June 24, 2015
Pulaski Park, 1 mile west of Jellyvision HQ, Chicago, IL (JV-AP)

What’s gotten into the water at Jellyvision?

Following a pre-game lunch of mutant Chinese chicken balls, the YOU DON’T KNOW JACKie Robinsons took the field to defend their undefeated season. In the bottom of the first inning, YDKJRs first 7 batters all reached base and scored… and the team never looked back. Tony Abraham sealed the victory (13-3) in the bottom of the 5th inning with a 3-run homer, his second inside-the-park home run of the season.

Before the game, the team knew what was at stake: they all agreed that if they won, CEO Amanda Lannert must attend the next game and bring orange slices and Capri Suns for the team. Jellyvision’s General Counsel, Kurt Hirsch, dug deep into the Jellyvision by-laws to confirm this as true. Mr. Hirsch said:

“As ARTICLE VII, Section 9, Part F clearly states: ‘If any Jellyvision recreational sports team wins three games in a row after going winless for two consecutive seasons, the Jellyvision Chief Executive Officer shall come to the potential fourth win in a row and supply the players with orange slices and Capri Suns. The Chief Executive Officer will subsequently cheer loud enough for the Founder to hear wherever he is on his sabbatical.”

Unfortunately, Amanda declined the JV-AP’s request to speak about this agreement, as she is currently vacationing in South Carolina.

YOU DON’T KNOW JACKie Robinson is now 3-0 and in first place. Their next game is Wednesday, July 1 at 6:00 PM.

Pictured above: Team mascot Big Bev’s supportive snuggles and kisses helped catapult YDKJRs to first place.

Join 22,000+ HR pros who receive monthly employee benefits insights, straight to their inbox.