Now Boarding: Almost 6 Hours of Airline Awfulness

Please make sure your seat back is in the fully upright position, and prepare to watch a video that captures the drudgery of a cross-country flight. All five hours and 45 minutes of it.

Virgin America made this crazy-long film to contrast with their purple lights, power outlets, and on-demand entertainment. Yes, it is really five hours and 45 minutes long. And it’s all there: the kid who won’t stop kicking your seat. The chatty neighbor. The crying baby. They even captured that irritating “airplane buzz.”

If your brain doesn’t melt from all the beige, you can learn more about the video’s faux airline, BLAH Airlines, on its website, Twitter and Instagram accounts. For example, on BLAH airlines, you can expect these wonderful amenities:

• 3 types of seats: Aisle, Middle and Window.
• Drinks, Sodas, and other Liquids.
• Our complimentary peanuts-free.
• Windows on every plane.
• Reading light for your convenience.
• Rear-mounted magazine pouches.
• Ice available on selected routes.
• BLAH Airlines seats fit most legs.
• Armrest.
• “Entertainment.”

I also got a sneak peek at the great products available in Air Junk Magazine.

This is a rare piece of communication that I think is seriously great-but never want to experience ever, ever again.

Image: Virgin America (I mean, ahem, BLAH Airlines) via Instagram