We think you and your team deserve a few fun cocktails (or mocktails) just because. Enjoy (responsibly, of course)!

The HDHPiña Colada

Ingredients:

  • 1 ounce coconut cream
  • 3 ounces pineapple juice
  • 2 ounces white rum
  • 1 pineapple slice


Instructions:

Crush a cup of ice in a blender, then add the coconut cream, pineapple juice, and rum.

Blend together until smooth. Then pour the mixture into a glass and add the pineapple for garnish! Enjoy knowing you’ve mixed up a drink so delicious it can soothe the sting of even the highest deductible.

Skip the alcohol to make The Plaña Colada.

The HMOjito

Ingredients:

  • 3 mint sprigs
  • 1 ½ tablespoons of lime juice
  • 1 teaspoon of sugar
  • 1 shot of white rum
  • Club soda
  • Ice


Instructions:

Feel free to designate a PCP (Primary Cocktail Pal) to help you with this recipe.

Pull off 8-10 mint leaves, and throw the stems away. Throw your mint leaves and sugar into a highball glass, and muddle (aka crush with a fancy rounded stick).

Then, stir in the lime juice, the white rum, and the ice. Get a referral from your PCP to top off the drink with club soda, and voila!

Leave out the rum and you’ve got yourself a mocktail we like to call…The PPOjito.

The Out-of-Network Negroni

Ingredients:

  • 1 ½ ounces London dry gin
  • ¾ ounce Campari
  • ¾ ounce vermouth


Instructions:
Combine the ingredients into a cocktail shaker and mix well with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass, and garnish with a twist of orange rind. Only serve 80% of the drink.

Teetotalers can mix up an Eligible Dependent by combining 4 ounces lemon-lime soda and a dash of grenadine.

The Leave of Absinthe

Ingredients

  • 1 teaspoon of absinthe
  • 2 tablespoons of Benedictine liqueur
  • ¼ cup of dry vermouth
  • 1 orange slice


Instructions

Pour all the ingredients except the orange slice into a cocktail shaker. Add ice cubes and stir for one minute, then strain into a classy martini glass.

Squeeze the orange peel over your drink and drop it in. Then, for extra flair, add a ‘themed garnish’–a pacifier, say, or a ‘get well soon’ card hot-glued to a swizzle stick.

For the mocktail version, mix one teaspoon anise extract with sparkling water, sugar, and blackberries and call it a Maternity Leave.

The Coinsurance Cosmopolitan

Ingredients

  • 2 ounces vodka
  • 1 ounce Cointreau
  • 1 ounce cranberry juice
  • 1 ounce Rose’s lime juice (reserved)

Instructions

Combine the Allowed Amount ingredients into a cocktail shaker and mix well with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass, then add a floater of lime juice.

Be warned: this cocktail is so delicious, your teammates might ‘reach their total out-of-pocket costs’ before they know it. If so, suggest that they switch over to…The Out-of-Pocket Limit, a mocktail that substitutes lemon-lime soda for vodka.

The Defined Contribution Daiquiri

Ingredients

  • 2 ounces white rum
  • ½ ounce fresh lime juice
  • ½ teaspoon confectioner’s sugar


Instructions
Combine lime juice and sugar in a cocktail shaker, then add the rum. Mix well with ice, then strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a slice of lime and serve when fully vested.

Substitute the rum for lime juice to make a mocktail version we call The Hardship Withdrawal.